Imagine baking brownies without preheating the oven. Or running a marathon without training. Well, it’s important to apply that same logic to the bedroom: In order to have great sex, you need to get in a good warm-up first. But if you worry that your bedmate phones in foreplay just for your sake, you’ll be psyched to find out that scientists at the Kinsey Institute have discovered men need a little revving up too. “Guys often don’t get as much foreplay because women think an erection is proof a man is ready for sex,” says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good. “But men crave the intimacy and emotional connection that foreplay provides.” Here are five moves to max out the buildup to sex.
Discover new terrain
The area between your chin and throat is the most sensitive part of your neck because the nerves sit closer to the skin’s surface. So get your guy to lightly lick this zone. Next, cup his testicles in your hand, stroking, rolling, and tickling them. Then massage the base of his penis. Since part of his joystick is hidden behind the scrotum, touching the base can give him novel thrills, says New York sex therapist Jane Greer, Ph.D.
Give him a racy rubdown
Have him lie on his stomach, then straddle his back, aligning your clitoris over his sacrum (the bony plate at the base of the spine, above the butt crack). Move your hips while using your hands to massage both sides of his spine. “The friction from his tailbone will arouse you, and you’ll awaken the sacral nerves that connect to his genitals,” says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., founder of MyPleasure.com.
Caress each other
Have your guy spoon you while he reaches around and stimulates your breasts, rubbing the flesh above the areolae, in the 10 o’clock to 2 o’clock area. Meanwhile, graze your fingers along his inner thigh, stopping just before his scrotum, then quickly move back down. This thin-skinned area is especially sensitive, and coming close to his goods without making contact will keep him in a suspended state of excitement. Next, whisper something naughty. Greer says dirty talk raises testosterone levels, boosting arousal.
Amp up oral
The penis is famous for taking center stage during oral sex, but the testicles are supporting players that rarely get recognition. Lick the nerve-rich seam (that dark line down the middle of the scrotum), then gently push up against the base of his testicles with your hand. “You’ll arouse his prostate, a sensitive gland in his pelvic region,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
Get dirty in the shower
Haven’t given a hand job since high school? It’s time to get back to basics. Hop into the shower with him, soap up your hands, and wrap one around his shaft, squeezing as you move up and down, then switch to shorter, faster strokes on the head of his penis. If he can’t guess your next move, his arousal will intensify. And when you do finally hit the sheets, there will be an erotic payoff.